Participate in your Miracle

For years I have prayed to God and asked him to help me lose weight. I can truthfully say this prayer has been going on for over 25 years. I have believed in God most of my life and have felt his presence but until this year I have not really tapped into his power, his love, and his way of life for me. My prayers were selfishly motivated with minimal “thank you God’s” followed by long lists of wants driven by selfishness, what I thought and what I felt emotionally.

Often as I reflect on these prayers I see they were not at all seeking guidance and direction but more fantasy driven. I wanted God to pop out of his heavenly place and grant me my 3, or most times more, wishes or miracles so I would then be happy. I didn’t want to have to do anything for them either. You know the scripture, “Ask and it shall be given!” Seemed like the perfect plan to me! NOT!! Because I was still not only fat, I was heading toward morbidly obesedom. ( Yes, it is a word in FatDiva’s dictionary!)

After spending some quality, not the 5 min prayer morning and night, but quality time with God and his Word, and writing daily in my journey of reflection, I have some understandings about my life that I just want to share...

Revelation #1 : God is not my genie! I can’t just come to him in time of need and bark our requests and expect them to happen and most important remain a constant in my life without any work on my part.

Revelation #2: I have to be an active participant in the miracle. I can’t want to be a smaller size and still eat my 3 C’s (cakes, cookies, and chips). I can’t want to be able to sit in an airplane seat comfortably and not work out and live an active life. I can’t want to be able to shop in a regular, non -plus size, store and still be able to eat what I want, when I want, and how much I want! That is not my reality! That is actually my insanity. I have to be a willing participant in this and not depend on my own power to be able to do it. I would never be able to give up my 3 C’s by my own power. It is just not happening.

Revelation #3: I had to seek a higher power, God: Jesus: Holy Spirit, to help me give up my own way of life in order to live in the abundance of joy he has prepared for me! (That is my miracle, being able to submit to a new way of life).
Because of these revelations, my daily prayers have changed over the last couple of months. They no longer consist of my selfishly motivated requests but sound similar to this prayer:

God, I offer myself to thee to build with me and to do with me as thy will. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of thy power, thy love, and thy way of life. May I do thy will always. (12 Steps of Recovery: 3rd Step Prayer)

So my question to you is ... What is your miracle that you have NOT been an active participant? Have we asked to be financially stable and debt free but don’t want to give up our abundant purchases of shoes and accessories (Ouch! I stepped on my own toe). Have we asked to find or be found by our perfect mate but don’t want to surrender our unrealistic list of qualities over to God? Have we asked for a career change and don’t want to give up our own aspirations of financial or status based success to fulfill our purpose through God’s eyes? Or have we asked for a complete makeover of our life and just want to sit on the sidelines and wait for our miracle to come from our “genie in a bottle?” No judgments just food for your thoughts?

Fat Diva Rule # 28: Be an active participant in your Miracle.

Lesson Learned: Most things you strive for in life will not come without you being an active and willing participant in the process!