Fat Diva and The Bathroom Stall

While attending a function, I had to use the restroom. Of course there was a line at the ladies bathroom. While waiting in line I kept letting people go in front of me when a restroom became available. They didn't know my reasons. Maybe I was just being nice. Maybe I didn't like the person who just came out of that restroom. Maybe I was just being picky. Although all of those maybes are good guesses, I had my own personal agenda...To score a handicap restroom. Yes it is the best restroom facility for a fat diva.

Fat Diva Rule #7: When using a public bathroom always try to use the handicap stall!

There are two reasons why this stall is the best fit for a Fat Diva. First of all it has the most room. You don't have to throw your body in reverse and back in the stall because there is not enough room to turn around (Like in most of the stalls). You can walk in normally and actually have the room to do the really important things like.... Being able to wipe correctly (I know! Gross but we all do it and if you don't .. that is NASTY!!!. In some of the other stalls you barely have room to turn to do what you need to do. Sometimes it gets hot in there trying to do all that and makes you wish you would have just waited. Because when u come from the bathroom you look like you been working out because you are so Sweaty! I personally don't want that experience and if I can avoid it.. I do!! Fat Divas and sweat is another blog title!!

The second reason why a Fat Diva should be choose the handicap stall in a public restroom is ....THE BARS ON THE SIDE!!! Lets get real.. When you are at a public restroom hopefully you are not sitting on the toilet!! So when you squat down to use it (notice I said SQUAT) that is exercise. A Squat is an exercise term that requires the use of your hamstrings and quads. And to just pause on the downward motion of a squat requires much muscle work. Sometimes Fat Divas are not able to stay in that squat position long enough to release their bodily fluid. Therefore you get a little tinkle on your pants which is not how you want to continue your time at an event. So therefore...the BARS are like that personal trainer that helps that weight lifter when he or she is in trouble in weight lifting!! They are your spotter! In the case that you need assistance in your squatting the bars can help you hold your weight up while you try to handle business.

Some people may think it is not right for me to use that restroom because they think it is like parking in an handicap parking spot. Hmmm that is food for thought! I never thought about it like that. I am usually not in the restroom more than 5 minutes so I hope that I am not doing anything morally wrong!

So I hope you understand now when u see Fat Divas using the handicap stall. We are not being insensitive or rude but we are just using all of the resources available to us so that we can handle our business.

Lesson Learned: Fat Divas need to use all the resources that are available to us in order to do some of the everyday things! Including using the restroom in public places!

Smwah .. Enjoy the Journey!!!

Fat Diva and The master

The traditional form of slavery has been over for my people, African-Americans, for years and years and years now, but I still have a master that I serve. You may think I am speaking of God. I know Christians should have only one master and that is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ but I must confess I have another master. I serve him daily. I think about him constantly. I usually start my day with him and end my day with him. I feel happy if he shows me something good and I get sad when he shows me something bad. What this master tells me determines what kind of day I am going to have at times. I have tried to break free from the bondage of his hell for years but for some reason I keep going back.

Others judge me on by what my master says about me. My own doctor listens to the master and if the master does not produce the magic number she gives me a label. Her label is called, morbidly obese. Now I am not pretending to be a scholar when it comes to words but doesn’t morbid mean death. I have been given a death sentence based on a number. No test, no examine, and no conversation, just a number. This number that my master produces can even affect my health insurances, jobs, or even relationships. So now not only am I a slave to my master but my master now controls what others think of me as well.

This form of slavery is tricky because I am to blame for it. No one forced me to become its slave or is holding me here as a slave but I just can’t shake him. I have tried to throw him away and lock him up but it never works. I need for him to show me the number. My life has become surrounded by a number. Even when I declare my new healthy life style I always come back to my master to measure my success. A 20 dollar deal at Wally World has become ruler of my life. How sad is this. No matter how much progress I make, my master can erase all of it with one quick flash of a number. That is power. No person should have that much power over your life so why do I continue to allow my master, the scale, to do so.

Now for those who read this and think that I am going through a self hatred stage in my life please read it again. I am just being honest about one of the other masters I serve. For those who have never had this relationship with the scale then I can see how you may misinterpret my post. But mostly everyone has another master they serve. It may be alcohol, sex, cleaning, drama, work, or even a person. When was the last time you took an honest look at your master?

Fat Diva Rule #6: Find other ways besides a scale to measure your healthy living successes! Can you walk up the stairs now without being out of breath? Can you touch your toes? Can you cross your legs? Can you fit your seatbelt around you? Can you get into that size 16 dress you bought when you knew you were a size 20 thinking it was cut big?

Lesson Learned: Never be a slave to anyone or anything!
Smwah!! Enjoy the Journey!