Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Fat Diva and The Bathroom Stall


While attending a function, I had to use the restroom. Of course there was a line at the ladies bathroom. While waiting in line I kept letting people go in front of me when a restroom became available. They didn't know my reasons. Maybe I was just being nice. Maybe I didn't like the person who just came out of that restroom. Maybe I was just being picky. Although all of those maybes are good guesses, I had my own personal agenda...To score a handicap restroom. Yes it is the best restroom facility for a fat diva.

Fat Diva Rule #7: When using a public bathroom always try to use the handicap stall!

There are two reasons why this stall is the best fit for a Fat Diva. First of all it has the most room. You don't have to throw your body in reverse and back in the stall because there is not enough room to turn around (Like in most of the stalls). You can walk in normally and actually have the room to do the really important things like.... Being able to wipe correctly (I know! Gross but we all do it and if you don't .. that is NASTY!!!. In some of the other stalls you barely have room to turn to do what you need to do. Sometimes it gets hot in there trying to do all that and makes you wish you would have just waited. Because when u come from the bathroom you look like you been working out because you are so Sweaty! I personally don't want that experience and if I can avoid it.. I do!! Fat Divas and sweat is another blog title!!

The second reason why a Fat Diva should be choose the handicap stall in a public restroom is ....THE BARS ON THE SIDE!!! Lets get real.. When you are at a public restroom hopefully you are not sitting on the toilet!! So when you squat down to use it (notice I said SQUAT) that is exercise. A Squat is an exercise term that requires the use of your hamstrings and quads. And to just pause on the downward motion of a squat requires much muscle work. Sometimes Fat Divas are not able to stay in that squat position long enough to release their bodily fluid. Therefore you get a little tinkle on your pants which is not how you want to continue your time at an event. So therefore...the BARS are like that personal trainer that helps that weight lifter when he or she is in trouble in weight lifting!! They are your spotter! In the case that you need assistance in your squatting the bars can help you hold your weight up while you try to handle business.

Some people may think it is not right for me to use that restroom because they think it is like parking in an handicap parking spot. Hmmm that is food for thought! I never thought about it like that. I am usually not in the restroom more than 5 minutes so I hope that I am not doing anything morally wrong!

So I hope you understand now when u see Fat Divas using the handicap stall. We are not being insensitive or rude but we are just using all of the resources available to us so that we can handle our business.

Lesson Learned: Fat Divas need to use all the resources that are available to us in order to do some of the everyday things! Including using the restroom in public places!

Smwah .. Enjoy the Journey!!!

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